Christmas is Coming!

Christmas is Coming!
I have to be good!
I must be the best kid
In my neighborhood.

Santa will know if
I’m not at the top, and
He gives the best gifts to
The cream of the crop.

I tried to be nice
All the year long.
But all that I did
Just turned out wrong.

I helped an old lady
Crossing the street
Till she fell through the manhole
Under her feet.

I lit up our house,
‘Twas the brightest in town.
But the fires I lit just
Burned the place down.

I donated things and
Gave to the poor,
But I guess they don’t like
My compost anymore.

I tried to recycle
All kinds of things
But my sister complained
She still needed those rings.

I treated my parents with
Kindness and pleasance,
Except for the times I
Was in their presence.

I kept my room spotless
One time for a week,
After my dead gerbil
Started to reek.

I help with the dishes when
Mother is cooking,
And I only break stuff when
She isn’t looking.

But no matter what,
I just don’t end up nice,
So Santa, I really could
Use some advice.

How can I do this?
What have I missed?
Help me to get off
Your long naughty list.

Should I write you more letters?
Can I bribe you at all?
Do you have a cell number
That I can call?

If I kidnapped your reindeer,
Would that do the trick?
Or what if I threatened
You, Mr. Saint Nick?

I’ll do anything,
Anything; is that clear?
Whatever will get me
A present this year.

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