Just Donut

The week was long, the terrors real, but
Please: do not fear.
For Friday’s come at last, you see:
There is a donut here.

Glazed or powdered, filled or empty,
Sprinkled or with nuts,
Donuts put love in our hearts
(The fat goes in our guts).

Donut donut donut donut
Donut donut dough;
Donut donut donut donut
Donut donut: oooohhhhhh.


My Hard Drive

My hard drive crashed the other day;
I should have seen it coming;
The computer had gotten awfully slow and
The drive had started humming.

A crash like this is no surprise;
These things fail all the time.
Thus the need for backing up
Explained in this here rhyme:

Back up all your documents,
Especially your data.
‘Cause drives are like bad software that’s
Perpetually pre-beta.

So copy all those pictures off
Onto another drive.
And copy them some more times if you
Want them to survive.

Duplicate your videos
And music you’ve amassed
For when your hard disk crashes,
These files will not last.

Copy emails, copy chats, and
Every application;
Save yourself an ulcer and
Painful consternation.

Just copy the whole damn thing;
And copy it again.
Losing data hurts like Hell,
Each copy is your friend.

Copy onto other drives,
Copy to the cloud.
Copy anywhere and every
Place that is allowed.

Keep a copy in your home
And maybe in your car.
Have some copies near to you
And others really far.

Make copies of your copies
And duplicate those, too.
It’s better to have too many copies
Than to have too few.

All your digital memories
Could disappear like this
So back up everything you think
You might just one day miss.

I know all this because my hard drive
Recently got fried.
These are all the things I wish I’d
Done before it died.

Postscript: I wrote this after the drive crashed and I had lost everything. I actually managed to recover the data eventually. If you're curious about the process I went through, I wrote it up on my technical blog in Dealing with Data: A Hard Drivin' Tale of Woe.

The Pope's Resignation Letter

Dear Church:

I hereby resign my post as Pope, effective March 1, 2013.

Thank you for the opportunities for professional and personal development that you have provided me during the last five years. I have enjoyed working for The Vatican and appreciate the support provided me during my tenure with the firm.

However, I have decided to spend more time with my family that I am really, really old.

The Pope

p.s. I'm keeping the car. And the hat.


Things I Believe: Thoughts for Friday

You can't please everyone, but you can always pleasure yourself.

He who does not try cannot fail.

Lucky in love, happy in life.
Lucky in business, annoying.

The proof is in the pudding. I have no idea how the knife got into my dessert.


Super Bowl: An Ode

The Super Bowl is on today...
And I don’t give a damn.
Pretending any different would be
Lying, and a sham.

(Americans call it ‘football,’ though
That name's already used.
The soccer-playing countries don’t appear
To be amused.)

Growing up American means that
We should love the game.
We learn it from an early age,
Before we know our name.

We play it in the streets and in the
Parks in our hometowns.
We pass and run as best we can to
Score our teams’ touchdowns.

We join our football little leagues,
We play for high school teams,
Football games are everywhere,
Or so it sometimes seems.

Some kids play all through college,
A few even after school.
But most of us just watch it all
On TV, as a rule.

Saturday’s for college ball
And Sunday’s for the pros.
Then comes Monday Night Football
(as everybody knows)

You talk about The Game all week
And of the games to come,
You talk until there’s nothing left,
And past it and then some.

Football’s what we talk about
When we have naught to say,
Like, “Did you catch the game last night?” and,
“How ‘bout the game today?”

For sports brings us together;
It’s what we have in common.
Talking of it costs us nothing; it’s
Cheaper than Top Ramen.

But I grew up not playing ball,
Nor watching football either.
Just minutes into any game and
I’m ready for a breather.

When someone doesn’t care for sports,
It seems to be upsetting.
For nothing beats good exercise
That other folks are getting.

But Super Bowls are different, ‘cause
The parties can’t be beat.
I’ll be there while the game is on...
But I’m just going to eat.