Bad News

I saw a great headline on CNN a couple of days ago:

Michael Vick arraigned on Federal Convection
Does this mean that he's going to cook for his crime? Or that they're just going to grill him about it?

A few minutes later, there was another good CNN headline:

Univ. of Wisconsin Resumes Classes when Suspicious Man Not Found
I had to wonder: Is this a daily occurrence there? Does the school have a comprehensive safety plan depending on all things that don't happen?

I can imagine other, similarly gripping news stories, like:
  • Woman Eats Rest of Dinner when Rat Not Detected in Pasta Sauce
  • New York City Returns to Work after Sewers Finish Not Exploding
  • War Ends when Weapons of Mass Destruction Not Detected

Maybe the headline writers have just been watching too much What's News.

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