When I am King: Stimulust Package

When I am King...

I will lower the prices on important consumer products to boost spending, increase consumer confidence, and rake in the dough.

In the first, and perhaps most important, step toward my overall Stimulus Package plan, I have lowered the price on my book, enabling people who could not afford the treatise the chance to pick up this fabulous product at a fantastic, new, low-low price.

By reducing the price by one dollar, or 100 shiny copper pennies!, I have started a snowballing effect that will eventually fix the entire world economy. People that wanted the book previously but who had to save that money to eat or buy drugs will now be able to own the book, giving them both something to do with their time and something to burn when the winter freeze arrives. Meanwhile, the publisher will make money producing more of these books, so that they can pay their workers, who will probably go out and buy the book themselves, developing a rich cycle of buying, producing, more buying, more producing, and some skimming off the top. And finally, the huge royalties that are certain to roll in from this $6.95 book will enable the author to plan for future, deeply unspecified stimulus activities, plowing the massive profits into more beneficial and happy programs like this one.

Sure, some liken a stimulus package to putting a used bandaid over a gushing jugular wound. Others say that it is more like caulking a shattered foundation during an earthquake. But I think that the global economic crisis is easily solved, book by book.

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