This is pretty much what it was like yesterday at 3:30 in the morning in my house.
Showing posts with label California. Show all posts
Showing posts with label California. Show all posts
8/25/2014
10/01/2010
Minor Jokes for Friday
Every year in California, elementary school children study an important element in our history. In other places, students might study the history of their country or important elements of world history and how it relates to their lives. But here in California, our kids study the gold rush. That's right: money, greed, and the founding of a state by the hapless individuals who fell for that marketing trap.
And we wonder at the superficiality of Los Angeles?
In tribute to this annual reflection on our greedy past, I offer these minor miner jokes:
Q: What’s are the three rules of finding gold?
A: Mine, mine, mine.
Q: Why did the miner take a balloon ride in a thunderstorm?
A: He heard that every cloud has a silver lining.
Q: Why did the miner stay in California instead of moving north?
A: Because he didn’t like the sound of a place called “Ore-gone”
Q: Why are so many gold-diggers children?
A: Because it’s the only profession open to minors.
Q: What do you call the diggers with no clothes on?
A: Strip miners.
Q: Why does everyone love gold?
A: You can’t help but dig it.
Q: Why did the student pan for gold all night long?
A: His mother told him, “You’d better finish your homework, ore else!”
Q; Why was silver more popular than gold?
A: Everyone dug the silver, but panned the gold.
Q: Why couldn’t the miner ever find gold?
A: He looked and looked, but searched in vein.
Q: What did they call the miner that threw himself down his mine shaft?
A: A claim jumper.
And we wonder at the superficiality of Los Angeles?
In tribute to this annual reflection on our greedy past, I offer these minor miner jokes:
Q: What’s are the three rules of finding gold?
A: Mine, mine, mine.
Q: Why did the miner take a balloon ride in a thunderstorm?
A: He heard that every cloud has a silver lining.
Q: Why did the miner stay in California instead of moving north?
A: Because he didn’t like the sound of a place called “Ore-gone”
Q: Why are so many gold-diggers children?
A: Because it’s the only profession open to minors.
Q: What do you call the diggers with no clothes on?
A: Strip miners.
Q: Why does everyone love gold?
A: You can’t help but dig it.
Q: Why did the student pan for gold all night long?
A: His mother told him, “You’d better finish your homework, ore else!”
Q; Why was silver more popular than gold?
A: Everyone dug the silver, but panned the gold.
Q: Why couldn’t the miner ever find gold?
A: He looked and looked, but searched in vein.
Q: What did they call the miner that threw himself down his mine shaft?
A: A claim jumper.
9/19/2008
Little Jokes for Friday
It's "study the 49'ers" time of year in California schools, that part of our kids' education where we learned about the insane level of greed that made this state what it is. Good thing we're not like that anymore.
I figured it was also time for a little minin' humor, dig?
Q: What’s the difference between a huge gold vein and Britney Spears?
A: One is the mother lode, the other is one loaded mother.
Q: What did the gold digger say to his new bride?
A: What’s mine is yours.
Q: What did the man’s wife say when he left home for the California Gold Rush?
A: “Come back rich, ore else!”
Did you hear about the 49’er that was unable to find any gold?
He searched in vein.
Q: What’s the difference between getting a gold mine and a fancy dinner?
A: One’s a staked claim, the other is acclaimed steak.
Q: Why did the 49’er climb to the top of the mountain?
A: He heard that every cloud has a silver lining.
Did you hear about the 49’er that fell down the shaft?
He only suffered miner injuries.
Some 49’ers were good at mining, but most people couldn’t dig it.
Q: What’s a 49’ers favorite song?
A: Anything in a miner key.
I figured it was also time for a little minin' humor, dig?
Q: What’s the difference between a huge gold vein and Britney Spears?
A: One is the mother lode, the other is one loaded mother.
Q: What did the gold digger say to his new bride?
A: What’s mine is yours.
Q: What did the man’s wife say when he left home for the California Gold Rush?
A: “Come back rich, ore else!”
Did you hear about the 49’er that was unable to find any gold?
He searched in vein.
Q: What’s the difference between getting a gold mine and a fancy dinner?
A: One’s a staked claim, the other is acclaimed steak.
Q: Why did the 49’er climb to the top of the mountain?
A: He heard that every cloud has a silver lining.
Did you hear about the 49’er that fell down the shaft?
He only suffered miner injuries.
Some 49’ers were good at mining, but most people couldn’t dig it.
Q: What’s a 49’ers favorite song?
A: Anything in a miner key.
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