Every year in California, elementary school children study an important element in our history. In other places, students might study the history of their country or important elements of world history and how it relates to their lives. But here in California, our kids study the gold rush. That's right: money, greed, and the founding of a state by the hapless individuals who fell for that marketing trap.
And we wonder at the superficiality of Los Angeles?
In tribute to this annual reflection on our greedy past, I offer these minor miner jokes:
Q: What’s are the three rules of finding gold?
A: Mine, mine, mine.
Q: Why did the miner take a balloon ride in a thunderstorm?
A: He heard that every cloud has a silver lining.
Q: Why did the miner stay in California instead of moving north?
A: Because he didn’t like the sound of a place called “Ore-gone”
Q: Why are so many gold-diggers children?
A: Because it’s the only profession open to minors.
Q: What do you call the diggers with no clothes on?
A: Strip miners.
Q: Why does everyone love gold?
A: You can’t help but dig it.
Q: Why did the student pan for gold all night long?
A: His mother told him, “You’d better finish your homework, ore else!”
Q; Why was silver more popular than gold?
A: Everyone dug the silver, but panned the gold.
Q: Why couldn’t the miner ever find gold?
A: He looked and looked, but searched in vein.
Q: What did they call the miner that threw himself down his mine shaft?
A: A claim jumper.