The Super Bowl is on today...
And I don’t give a damn.
Pretending any different would be
Lying, and a sham.
(Americans call it ‘football,’ though
That name's already used.
The soccer-playing countries don’t appear
To be amused.)
Growing up American means that
We should love the game.
We learn it from an early age,
Before we know our name.
We play it in the streets and in the
Parks in our hometowns.
We pass and run as best we can to
Score our teams’ touchdowns.
We join our football little leagues,
We play for high school teams,
Football games are everywhere,
Or so it sometimes seems.
Some kids play all through college,
A few even after school.
But most of us just watch it all
On TV, as a rule.
Saturday’s for college ball
And Sunday’s for the pros.
Then comes Monday Night Football
(as everybody knows)
You talk about The Game all week
And of the games to come,
You talk until there’s nothing left,
And past it and then some.
Football’s what we talk about
When we have naught to say,
Like, “Did you catch the game last night?” and,
“How ‘bout the game today?”
For sports brings us together;
It’s what we have in common.
Talking of it costs us nothing; it’s
Cheaper than Top Ramen.
But I grew up not playing ball,
Nor watching football either.
Just minutes into any game and
I’m ready for a breather.
When someone doesn’t care for sports,
It seems to be upsetting.
For nothing beats good exercise
That other folks are getting.
But Super Bowls are different, ‘cause
The parties can’t be beat.
I’ll be there while the game is on...
But I’m just going to eat.