When I am King: Ad diction

When I am King...

Ads will say more about less. More or less.

Last week, I received some email spam from my telephone provider about their new universal cable/phone/internet services. Normally, I would ignore ads, but this piece was a gem.

At the top, as an incentive for reading the rest of the details, it offered "10 tips on finding a job!". Then it went on to talk about how I could get more and better TV channels for just $100/month plus installation.

I don't know which part excited me more: the fact that the phone company has our back and is going to help us find jobs in a tough economy, or the fact that they think that people with no income should be spending $100/month on cable TV. After all, watching TV could be what job seekers are going to be doing more than anything else in the next few months. And what else are they going to do with all that money - eat?

I can picture what happened at the company. Someone in Corporate Marketing had a sudden realization, "Wait! We can't go out with this new ad campaign in a bad job market! What about all of those people out of work that have no money for food and rent, much less entertainment? Shouldn't we wait until more prosperous times, when people have extra money and time to blow on TV?" Then his boss fired him and replaced him with the first person that could spin it into a positive message.

When I am King, I'd like to see a whole new era of ads, where negative situations are encompassed openly and honestly in an overall message about the product. Why should we let tragic situations halt the progress of American advertising and consumer spending? For example:
  • Joe's Peanut Butter: "Go nuts - Now, with 10 tips for treating peanut allergies with limited fatality!"
  • Joe's Jewelers: "The Second Time's the Charm - Buy one engagement ring and get another for 10% off!"
  • Joe's Donuts: Now, with donut holes that have 0% fat and no sugar!
or how about:
  • When I am King...: With several blank pages for those that don't appreciate the humor!
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