Black Friday

I got some great deals on Black Friday!
It wasn’t easy, I have to say;
I had to beat others out of my way,
But the stuff I got was just groovy.

I got gadgets and games and DVDs,
And Walmart had great sales on massive TVs
I got one so big I could hardly squeeze
The thing into my big SUV.

My wife took a hit early on, in the mall,
But that trooper cried out, as she started to fall,
“Don’t worry about me! Go on - buy it all!”
And then she was lost in the mob.

My toddler was next on the injury list
As she fell due to somebody’s angry fist
(They were swinging at me, but I ducked and they missed);
She went down and started to sob.

I bent down and helped her (Hey! I’m her Dad!).
Her head wound fortunately wasn’t that bad
And the bleeding was slowing to just a small tad,
So I strapped her back in her stroller.

That’s when things began to go wrong;
I lost those two minutes; the sale items were gone!
Each second delayed is a second too long
In this high-stakes sales coaster roller.

My teen was next to go down for the count;
She was fighting for mittens (with half-off discount!)
And winning (by some eyewitness account),
Until she was shoved off the shelf.

The stories conflict at this point of the tale,
Did she actually bite someone at that sale?
That’s what the cops thought as they took her to jail.
(Luckily, I got the mittens myself.)

The rest of the day was a smooth operation,
There was only one other slight altercation
(Some old lady making a wild accusation
As I pushed her out of my way).

Then I drove the stuff home and packed it all in
The boxes and bags come right up to my chin!
All in all, it felt like a pretty big win.
Now I can’t wait for Cyber Monday!

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