Oh, Limpy Ad!

In pursuit of the glory
Of the five golden rings
The Olympic atheletes traveled
All the way to Beijings.

To compete in events of
Great strength and skills
Which are really quite hard if
You avoid popping pills.

The feats are all judged by
The scoring selectors,
Choosing winners like great
Human medal detectors.

The runners are racing
And hurdling with pride
And trying to quickly
Get into their stride.

The gymnasts are awesome
As they jump, swing, and strut.
Although they're quite pretty
They could all kick our butt,

On a different note, pole vaulting's
Sure got some studs
Who are jumping for joy
And then landing with thuds.

The volleyball players
Are all soaked in sweat
Which makes for a slimy
And very gross net.

The basketball players
Running fast, fast, and faster
With hoops and great hollers
They court with disaster.

Baseball's a long game with
Three outings an inning.
The team staying wakeful
The longest is winning.

Diving is one sport
Where winners are all.
Everyone finishes thanks to
Gravity's fall.

Swimming is great
For those who don't choke.
What else could be won
While having a stroke?

Boxing is really
A sport with some clout.
Staying conscious is really
What the fight is a-bout.

But what of the sports
That didn't make the bar?
Would nascar drive us crazy?
Is golf not up to par?

Is kickball off base?
Or dodgeball just missed?
Is Scrabble a bored game?
Or is rapping dis'd?

What about other games
That didn't make the cuts?
Do competitive eaters
Not have the guts?

What of beer softball -
Did that also lose?
Would competitive chugging
Get hisses and booze?

Regardless, each four years
Olympians compete
They strive hard and do well
While we watch from our seat.

The harder they try
The more there's to see
So we stay on the couch
As we watch the TV.

But Olympics are more than
Just winning and losing
There's also about us
Watching them and then snoozing.

But maybe someday
We can each be a winner...
Right after the next two
Events and my dinner.