I am a Software Engineer

I am a Software Engineer.

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "That guy is Cool".

You're so right. I don't like to brag, too much, but I'll let you in on some details.

I have many friends
in chat rooms.

I have excellent contacts
but I prefer to wear glasses because they make me look so cool.

Many women want me
to fix their computers.

I frequently get laid
off.

I know many languages:
Java, C, C++.

I travel to many exotic places
in online games

I'm into sports
drinks.

I collect fancy cars.
Most are still in their original Hot Wheels packaging.

I smell good
so I don't shower very often because I don't want to ruin it.

I have a black belt
that I wear when I can't find my suspenders.

I know that you're now thinking "I want to be that guy."
But you can't.
I was here first.