11/30/2014

The Twelve Days of Christmas Shopping

On the first day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
A box.

On the second day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Two cardboard boxes
And a box.

On the third day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Eight cardboard boxes,
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Nine cardboard boxes,
Eight cardboard boxes,
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Ten cardboard boxes,
Nine cardboard boxes,
Eight cardboard boxes,
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Eleven cardboard boxes,
Ten cardboard boxes,
Nine cardboard boxes,
Eight cardboard boxes,
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Twelve cardboard boxes,
Eleven cardboard boxes,
Ten cardboard boxes,
Nine cardboard boxes,
Eight cardboard boxes,
Seven cardboard boxes,
Six cardboard boxes,
Five envelopes,
Four cardboard boxes,
Three cardboard boxes,
Two cardboard boxes,
And a box.


11/27/2014

Thanksgiving Prayer

Now I lay me down to eat:
I prey upon the turkey meat.
Stuffing follows in its wake,
Buried in a gravy lake.

Now I lay me down to rest,
After some more chicken breast.
If I shall die before I wake,
I won’t regret this food I take.

Amen.