Christmas is Coming!

Christmas is Coming!

I have to be good!

I must be the best kid

In my neighborhood.

Santa will know if

I’m not at the top, and

He gives the best gifts to

The cream of the crop.

I tried to be nice

All the year long.

But all that I did

Just turned out wrong.

I helped an old lady

Crossing the street

Till she fell through the manhole

Under her feet.

I lit up our house,

‘Twas the brightest in town.

But the fires I lit just

Burned the place down.

I donated things and

Gave to the poor,

But I guess they don’t like

My compost anymore.

I tried to recycle

All kinds of things

But my sister complained

She still needed those rings.

I treated my parents with

Kindness and pleasance,

Except for the times I

Was in their presence.

I kept my room spotless

One time for a week,

After my dead gerbil

Started to reek.

I help with the dishes when

Mother is cooking,

And I only break stuff when

She isn’t looking.

But no matter what,

I just don’t end up nice,

So Santa, I really could

Use some advice.

How can I do this?

What have I missed?

Help me to get off

Your long naughty list.

Should I write you more letters?

Can I bribe you at all?

Do you have a cell number

That I can call?

If I kidnapped your reindeer,

Would that do the trick?

Or what if I threatened

You, Mr. Saint Nick?

I’ll do anything,

Anything; is that clear?

Whatever will get me

A present this year.