In the end, like we do for all of life's many mysteries, I searched the web for answers. My search came up with humorpress.com. They have a humor story contest every couple of months. I'd never heard of them before, but they had the words 'humor' and 'story' in the contest title, so it looked perfect.
I just got word yesterday that my little story won 1st Prize for February/March. Here's the ribbon to prove it:
Or if you need more proof, check it out on the winners' site on humorpress.com. You'll recognize my story on that page by the part that has my name on it. Unless there's someone else with my name, which would be even more bizarre than my winning this contest.