8/31/2009

When I am King: Fit for a King

When I am King...

We will all be less active and more fit.

I’ve written elsewhere about plans to ensure better exercise and health. And these are important steps, no doubt, because “a fit kingdom is a kingdom that fits” (we’re currently trademarking that phrase).

But I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve come to a new realization that by doing less, we can actually do more. All this exercise, and working out, and sweating, and getting in shape, and trying to stay in shape… - where does it get us? We have no time for anything else in our busy lives, like watching more TV. And to make it worse, we have to work out harder and harder just to try to get the same kind of benefit that used to come from far less activity.

But by careful observation of inactive people, I realized that these slugs have found the answer. These people get very little exercise as a rule. When they finally do something physical, they get a great workout from very little activity. Just walking a hundred yards causes more sweat and heavy breathing than a high school dance.

Think about it: if you sit on the couch watching the tube all day every day, then just the act of getting up to make yourself a sandwich can be a great workout.

When I am King, we’ll all sit around and do nothing. And by so not doing, we’ll enjoy the benefits of exercise in quick workouts such as scratching our nose, or burping.

Sure, these minor workouts like getting up to go to the bathroom will hurt, but it doesn’t sound too bad if it only lasts for a matter of seconds. No more weights, no more cardio machines, no more spinning classes or pole dancing or whatever it is that you do to stay fit. Just sit down, relax, and let atrophy do the work for you. Six weeks of no movement at all, and you’ll be ready for some serious workouts just grabbing beer from the cooler.

And the best part is that putting on more weight will just increase the workout you get. so go ahead: eat that seventh donut! Have another milkshake! It’s all part of the plan.
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