I like to make my own greeting cards. I'm just not convinced that Hallmark really nails everyone's feelings accurately. Here are some efforts that I'm considering for this Valentine's Day:

Roses are red
So is my blood, gushing from multiple thorn wounds.
Take your damn flowers.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm bleeding profusely
I hope you are, too.

My love is like a red, red rose,
Cut short in its prime, now dead.

I already gave you the flower of my youth.
Is another bouquet really going to make a difference?
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