6/18/2007

Placating Parental Platitudes

A friend is having a baby soon. Like all well-meaning and obliviously arrogant parents, I imparted all of my worldly knowledge to him on the subject of child-rearing:

Don't worry: it'll wash out (probably)

But while I think that this single phrase is the core tenet of raising kids that all parents need to know, we can extend this information to cover other situations. Here, then, are some helpful parenting phrases. Repeat these aloud several times per hour, as appropriate.
  1. Don't worry: It'll wash out
  2. Don't worry: It wasn't poisonous
  3. Don't worry: It won't bite
  4. Don't worry: The other kids will like you
  5. Don't worry: It'll grow back
  6. Don't worry: It's operable
  7. Don't worry: It's surgically removable

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